Making your dreams come true

Michael and Allison are now 6 1/2 and 2 1/2, respectively. Michael continues to vascillate between syrupy sweet, focused busy, and teenager surly. Allison is finding that she is able to manipulate people with phrases like, "Mommy I love you" and "I need to go potty" and "I need a hug," and frequently uses them to sabotage her naps. Not too long ago, Allison said to me, while literally batting her eyelashes, "Mommy, can you make all my dreams come true?"

Now, I am the type of mom who carries ground flax seed in her purse, so that if we are at restaurants, I can sprinkle extra fiber into their food in case there are no vegetables. With enough notice, I will bring cut fruit to snack on, and I often bring chopped spinach to mix along into their food, in case the flax seed powder is not enough. They get candy and dessert, but generally if there is an opportunity to use said treat to get them to do something they might find onerous. We like to infuse our dinners and outings with little math problems for Michael, and reading practice for Allison. Our poor kids are tortured with teachable moments and health opportunities. So, when Allison asked me if I could make all her dreams come true, it was like the world stopped and a flashing neon-sign started shouting at me in a deep booming voice (if that's possible) "DO NOT MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY TO TEACH A LIFE LESSON!" I thought quickly, and told her that I could try to make her dreams come true, and that I always want her and Michael to be happy, but that she could make her own dreams come true if she just did three things.

1. Work really hard.

2. Read lots of books.

3. Do a good job in school.

Since this conversation, I've had time to think about my list, and I've not altered it. Someone told me that they had heard a similar list on "how to be successful," and the only thing that was different was "find something you love to to, and work hard at that." My perspective here is that at this point, my kids are going to have to do quite a number of things that they hate doing, so maybe I'll just save that little pearl for later. After they've picked up their toys, practiced piano, and eaten all their flax seed and spinach infused miso soup and rice.