State Fair

I love the State Fair. I have always loved the State Fair. I love the people watching, the smell of fried foods of all sorts, and all the animals. I love the textile displays, the fruit and vegetable displays, and the tractor vendors with their shiny Kubotas and John Deeres. I love how the cows are all pristine and nicely brushed, and the second any animal defecates, it's immediately cleaned up. Maybe it's because Charlotte's Web was one of the first movies I saw, and a lot happens at the State Fair. Maybe it's because Oklahoma! was one of the first musicals that I saw. Maybe it's because I'm genetically 1/4 redneck. I'm not sure. The bottom line is that I love the State Fair.

We try to go to the state fair every year. My husband gamely puts up with this penchant of mine. He was raised in the suburbs, and prefers his meat washed in cellophane and his vegetables pre-washed and pre-cut. He also hates the over-powering smell of livestock. I can't really blame him, but I still make him go every year. It's a little bit easier now that we live in Oregon. The Michigan State Fair was always held in Detroit, and you would have to park near the crack houses and walk several blocks- not really the most "country" experience in the world. But the Oregon State Fair is great. I'm especially fond of the 1,000 lb. pig, which has the largest testicles I have ever seen in my life. It's only50 cents to view this guy. The second year we saw him, I asked the lady if this was the same pig as the previous year. She said no, and then she further admitted that this particular specimen actually only weighed about 850 lbs. I almost demanded my money back, but it turns out, his testicles were also quite impressive.

This past summer, we went and when it came time to procure some vittles, we headed toward the food area. There was a stand selling free-range northwest pulled pork sandwiches that looked really spectacular. Next to the stand was a large pit, with half of a pig carcass roasting on it. I just love that. I can't explain why. I nudged Michael and told him to check out the pig.

• Michael: What's that?
• Me: It's a dead pig. They're selling pork sandwiches. Are you hungry?
• Michael: Why is there a dead pig?
• Me: Pork comes from pigs. You know, just like bacon and sausage.
• Michael (pauses): You mean they have to kill the pig?

Uh-oh. Visions of vegetarianism flashed through my mind. I'm perfectly comfortable eating tofu and meat-substitutes, but having one vegetarian while others eat meat can be more difficult. It's also hard to balance the proteins for growing children without including meat. Not that it can't be done, but it's difficult. Plus, Michael was the type of kid who potentially could become righteous about things, and start laying guilt trips about killing animals, etc. So I was kind of weighing all this against my general "brutal honesty" policy. Usually, when the kids ask a question, I give them the actual answer rather than a Disney-fied version of it. (Hence, both of my kids know that babies grow in the uterus. They know that a baby comes out of the V, unless a c-section is necessary. They have not yet asked how babies *get* into the uterus, thankfully. I'm not totally ready for that conversation, but I imagine I'll probably just tell them the truth.) Anyway, back to the dead pig.

• Me: Well, yes, they have to kill it. Just like they have to kill cows to make hamburgers, and they kill chickens before we eat the meat. That's just how it is.

I figured, no sense in beating around the bush. Let's just lay it all out. Just then, I noticed tears starting to well up in his big brown eyes. His chin quivered just a little. I braced myself for our family's future meals of soy and textured vegetable protein.

• Michael: But, if they kill the pig, how will they be able to get more bacon after it's gone?

I was speechless for a second. Seriously, he was more concerned about the pig being a non-renewable resource than losing its life? I explained to him a little bit about animal husbandry, and after we ate our delicious pulled pork sandwich, we went over to the pig barn and watched the sows nurse their little piglets.