How Electricity Works

The truth is, we put up a very nice tree every Christmas. It's a fake tree, but it's well-trimmed. We have a cute little butterfly that we attach to the top, because for some reason, I feel that that a star is too religious. Like everyone else, after we get the lights strung, we put the ornaments on, and then when everything is ready, we step back and plug in the lights.

One year, when Michael was 3 1/2, I caught him plugging in the lights on his own. He was back there, just plugging in the lights. I nearly had a heart attack. Visions of my child being electrocuted flashed through my head. I yelled, "MICHAEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

He turned to me, with the plug in his hand, and held it up for me to see. "I'm plugging in the Christmas tree lights, Mommy. They're not on." If I were in a calmer state of mind, I would probably have made a mental note that age 3 1/2 is when children start thinking their parents are idiots. Common lore would probably state that this doesn't happen until the teen years, but my actual observations were proving otherwise.

I told him, "Michael! You know that's a 'No-No'! Why are you playing with it?" We had taken to calling electrical outlets "No-No's," for self-explanatory reasons. It seems overly simplistic now, like calling water 'wa-wa." Nevertheless, my darling child was playing with a No-No, which was a definite no-no, and I needed to hammer this lesson in immediately.

He looked at me calmly, which was really frustrating, because he was obviously unaware that he was in mortal danger. He held up the plug, and said with perfect diction, "It's okay Mommy. I'm only touching the plastic part. If I were touching the metal part, THEN it would be dangerous. But I'm not touching the metal part. I'm only touching the plastic part. So it's okay."

Thoughts were flying through my head. Okay, well, that's all correct. He seems to understand the concept of electricity. And it sounds like he knows how to plug things in safely. When did he learn the difference between metal and plastic? But he's only 3 years old! I was pretty sure 3 year olds were not supposed to plug things into outlets. Was there a reason for this? Is it because most 3 year olds can't be trusted to understand about plugs? I was certain he knew not to stick his finger or a fork into the outlet, he would probably view that as a pointless endeavor. He was never the type of kid that stuck non-edible things into his mouth. I really was very certain that 3 year olds were not supposed to plug things in, but I couldn't come up with a good retort for his very clear and succinct explanation of his actions. He hadn't really done anything wrong. He knew it, and I knew it. All of these thoughts flashed through my head in a split second.

I had to come up with something, and it had to be good and believable. I had to stand my ground. I also had to ensure that he didn't inadvertently plug something in in front of another adult, thereby exposing us as irresponsible parents.

I finally said, "Well, that's true, Michael. But you know what? It makes Mommy really really nervous to have you plugging things into the No-no's, so let's just make a rule that it's okay for you to plug things in, but ONLY IF there is a GROWN-UP right next to you when you are doing it." He shrugged, and accepted this with a casual, "Okay, Mommy." I could almost hear him think, "If it makes you feel better, you spaz-head, sheesh."

Later, I told my husband the story, and did he know that Michael knew the difference between metal and plastic? He looked at me like I was nuts. He told me that he had taught Michael about outlets and how to plug things into them. I looked at him like he was nuts. (We were really quite a pair.) He asked me, exasperated, "Well, would you rather he DIDN'T know how they worked and have him electrocute himself on accident?" I had to concede that point as well.

I walked away from the whole thing really questioning my world view, and imagined a place where 5 year olds use butcher knives, and 7 year olds use chainsaws. Heck, as long as they understand how to use them safely...